My wife is a slut…and she doesn’t know it!

To me there are two basic types of sex.
1.    The warm intimacy that is shared between two people in love.
2.    No holds barred, crude, nasty, do whatever you can imagine sexual gratification.

The problem is that in most cases the two never happen at the same time, or at least with the same person.  I heard a saying once that “Making love is what a woman thinks about when you are fucking her”.  There seems to be a discrepancy between what the sexes can imagine as being palatable even if given the chance to dig into their deepest desires.

The problem is, as I see it is that men objectify women if given the opportunity to.  I love my wife, I treat her as such.  We have a great relationship in that we both work towards common goals.  We have a great sex life, we move in unison and we can orgasm at the same time.  I have no complaints.
However if I took respecting her as a person out of the equation and just thought of her as AND had the ability to USE her as I saw fit, the rules would change.  I believe that if a man has the ability to have sex with a woman in the way that he can IMAGINE it would in most cases be distasteful to the woman.

I am not talking about physically harming a woman, I am just saying that if I could do whatever I wished, whatever I can comprehend as being REALLY sexually exciting to me it would more likely represent a porno film than a close relationship.

I don’t hold the thought of ever experiencing any of these scenarios in “real” life.  They serve no purpose to me in my real life.  In conversation with my wife I have brought up various scenarios and could tell by her response that my fantasy would be better off staying just that…fantasy.

I do from time to time draw on these “fantasies” while making love.  In some ways I feel bad in that in my mind, I am objectifying her and her body more than she will know or needs to know.  I am not pretending that she is someone else, rather a one-sided “role-playing” where I am pretending that she is acting in a different way than she would possibly ever comprehend.  I am married, so NSA sex and hookers are not a viable option, I have to work with what I have.  Sometimes she IS a hooker, other times my neighbour’s wife, still others the team’s cheerleader but almost always she is a reincarnation of the stereotypical “slut” and now she is mine. Many different scenarios and yet almost always different than what appears as face value.

If I “make love” and try and get really worked up over the “closeness”, the “connection”, the “bond” I will most likely go to sleep.  I need, at least in my head for sex to be “dirty”.  I need there to be some stigma attached to it in order for me to “get off” intellectually and emotionally.

I like to look into my wife’s eyes and see that sparkle.  I love to see her smile.  I love to hear her voice.  She is a great partner and I am very happy that she is in my life.  What she doesn’t see is how I look at her in a more visually graphic way, how I fantasize about her, how I objectify her body.
I care about her needs.  I always do my best to ensure she is happy and satisfied.  She does the same for me…she just doesn’t know how much.