Erotic Thoughts

Deepest secrets – Out in the Open

Posts Tagged ‘cunnilingus’

When I said “Gimme Five” I really meant it

Posted by Victorian Essence on December 10, 2008

What is it about women (the ones that I have met) and oral sex.  There is a big discrepancy between the sexes when it comes to the amount of time spent performing the act.  I know in my experience that there is a certain expectation that I spend as much time as needed to ensure that she is satisfied.  This will be on average from 15-60 minutes. Never mind that all this while my head is cocked at a 45 degree angle and my tongue gets numb from the swirling and darting that is required non-stop in order for her to reach orgasm.  God forbid that I rest for a second…that means starting from the beginning all over. Even worse I had one lover that seemed to enjoy it yet took an extra long time to come.  After some discussion I found out she was “holding out” to savour the sensations.  I thought my tongue was going to break off…but as long as SHE was happy…right?

When it comes to her “returning the favour” she seems to be in a rush to get it over with.  I timed it on more than one occasion, just for interest’s sake and 2 minutes seems to be about average.  After that she stops putting any effort into it and starts complaining about a stiff jaw.

I have to admit that I have NO experience in performing oral sex on a man so I don’t know if it is any more difficult than doing it to a woman.  Maybe I need the opinion of someone that has had the opportunity to experience both situations. I am not talking about anything extreme here, deepthroat or gagging, just “normal” oral sex. I was discussing this topic once with someone and they suggested it might be a “size” thing.  Maybe I was too big?  I laughed.  I say no more.

I am not complaining about my numb tongue or stiff neck, the results are well worse the slight discomfort.  I don’t make direct comparisons and do not have any specific expectation, it isn’t a matter of “I’ll give you five for five”.  I have never said anything to her regarding my stiff neck or my numb tongue, whereas she makes no “bones” about showing her displeasure with spending more than two minutes. I am just curious as to whether her complaints are justified.

What I feel is that oral sex is “work”.  There is specific concentration required to achieve the desired result and the “giver” only gets enjoyment from providing pleasure to the receiver.  There is no specific mutual physical stimulation as with intercourse.  After time I feel that we go from the “trying to impress” stage to “the as little as I can get away with stage” when it comes to any “job” and “blow” jobs are no exception.
Sometimes I “feel” tired from having to maintain a specific position for too long, but I will never complain.  The sexual tension that I get from this particular form of foreplay is second to none…I would assume that from what I have seen that women are possible not aroused in the same way by pleasuring their partner?

Or

Is it because oral sex on a woman can be a session in itself…followed by intercourse;  That being a woman can be stimulated orally to orgasm and then can have intercourse immediately afterwards.  If a man is stimulated to orgasm orally, typically there will be a gap in time before intercourse is viable.  So my point is, is oral sex on a man simply “foreplay” leading to intercourse while oral sex on here is a separate and distinct “session”?

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Daddy…what does Mommy taste like?

Posted by Victorian Essence on December 9, 2008

I have had a number of women ask me if I actually like performing oral sex; in that is there a physical stimulus provided to the man through the action.  The answer is no.  There is no specific physical response directly, however the thought of what I am doing, the scent and the response of the recipient combine to make it highly arousing and provides an indirect physical response.  It would be virtually impossible for me to do this without becoming physically aroused.

Males describe vaginal secretions:

•”Lemony.”
•”Like the ocean.”
•”Cheerios.”
•”Have you ever put your tongue on the end of a battery? Like an alkaline battery.”
•”Like electricity, when you put a pop top from a soda can between your braces.”
•”Tangy.”
•”Like semen (salty), but better. Zesty.”
•”Tastes like glass.”
•”Whipped bananas and ginger ale.”
•”Similar to licking a non-bleeding wound. Sort of a salty, musty, yet sweet taste. It varies.”
•”Honestly I don’t remember the taste. The smell was all I could think about.”
•”A little fishy in taste, but that could be related to the smell.”
•”Depending on the woman and the time of the month, there can be a slight non-salty blood taste or a tangy battery taste.”
•”Bitter.”
“While performing oral sex on a college girlfriend, a few drops of a tepid, vaginal secretion were produced during her orgasm. When I tasted this fluid, I had the unusual sensation of eating a taco. That’s right! It was salty and tasted just like the combined flavors of fried hamburger meat, cheese, corn shell, and El Paso taco sauce! I’ll always have some very fond memories whenever I eat Mexican.”
•”Vaginal fluids are tangy, and syrupy, at least the ones I’ve come across. (!) If I haven’t tasted and she hasn’t BEEN tasted in a while, the fluids are especially tangy, but they always have a wonderful sweet smell. Kind of paradoxical, tangy-tasting and sweet-smelling, but that’s part of why it’s so much fun.”
•”It’s not so much a taste, it’s a smell. Kind of like a musty armpit but not really as offensive. Actually it might taste like a musty armpit too, I’ll have to check it and get back to you.”
•”A mixture of citrus and MSG.”
•”Soy sauce, the light Kikkoman.”
•”Indescribable.”
•”It didn’t have much flavor, but the sensation inside the mouth was what I remember most. It was a very warm, comforting feeling.”
•”Kind of sweet and sweaty.”
•”Sweet, not like anything I’ve ever tasted.”
•”Around the clitoris, it tastes like sweet tarts. In the vaginal canal, it tastes kind of like an artichoke tuna salad.”
•“Moss”
•“An old attic”

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Vaginas are Pretty

Posted by Victorian Essence on December 9, 2008

Vaginas are pretty. Ok, I don’t actually think that’s true. Its not any sort of inner self loathing, I just don’t find all the wrinkly folds and the odd array of skin tones very awe inspiring. Perhaps it’s that my aesthetics meter just isn’t calibrated properly. I also fail to see splendor when I look at babies. Perhaps you just need to be more familiar with an object to truly appreciate its subtleties and grace. For example it always seems to be mothers spouting on about the gorgeousness of babies and porn stars talking about beautiful beavers.

All this being said I had an epiphany recently. A vagina has enough going for it that it’s worth the extra effort to stop that unruly mop from hanging in its eyes. My old view which was, “why not let the poor thing live out its homely life in peace”, has been changed to “my muff is like Allison from The Breakfast Club”. You might remember Allison, she was the depressed, unsightly gal with crazy hair that covered most of her face. But, at the end she lets Molly Ringwald’s character do her hair and you realize she’s actually quite lovely. Where is Molly Ringwald when you need her?

What would cause this type of 180 you ask, online video porn of course. I was just introduced to the wonders of YouTube-like porn sites by my husband who swears he only hears about such things from his vulgar co-workers. Being a modern sort of couple we like to use technology to our advantage whenever possible – which includes huddling around a laptop in bed watching raunchy homemade video porn vignettes. After some sheepish discussion on what keyword searches we should try (btw, Abercombie & Fitch model seducing average looking woman in a Tahitian hotel bar before taking her out to his yacht to have hot, sweaty, above deck sex doesn’t turn up any results, so don’t bother), we hit upon “Eating Pussy Lesson”. I was thinking we would get something along the lines of “the clit is not a myth” and “yes you do actually need to put your mouth on it to be successful”, but what I got was much, much better. A mature blond woman – still a looker but someone you genuinely felt you could take anatomical advice from – gave the lesson on a young buxom blond in a bustier. Our teacher furthered both the scientific and fetishistic quotient by wearing black rubber gloves. I won’t get into the details except to say that I learned a great deal from this woman and by the end felt that the vagina was a brilliant piece of equipment that should receive at least as much attention as a car does; a regular wash & wax and the occasional splurge on the deluxe wheel rim package with papaya scent.

But let’s be realistic, rarely do epiphanies happen in a vacuum. There was a bit of a lead up to this. As I stated earlier I felt that my lower coif needed little attention and that this was a reasonable and widespread course of action. And of course I was right. The average North American woman does choose to let nature take its course down below. However, as my recent anecdotal and completely unscientific research clearly indicates – the average single North American woman between the ages of 20 and 35, who lives in an urban area, waxes the shit out of her va-jay jay. Yes, that dreaded South American spa treatment, and the closest most of us will ever get to a lesbian sex act… the Brazilian wax job.

I was in many ways shocked to learn that most of my friends partake. I thought there were few reasons girls like us might obtain a Brazilian. Among them might be an upcoming stint in Amateur Girls Take Hot Cock 7, or a date with Ron Jeremy. These otherwise normal women in my life were shelling out $70 a pop to let a small asian woman take them in a back room and rip out their anal hair. Yikes. One of my friends is actually lasering her beave completely bald. Double yikes. This last conversation was had over a round of beers at a local pub and I was the only one in the group who had to scoop her chin up off the table. The rest of the ladies felt this was not only a wise aesthetic choice, but smart from an economic point of view also. Pay several hundred dollars now but never have to pay for a wax job again, let alone a razor. Don’t be surprised if you see “laser yourself bald” as hot new tip for financially savvy females in Suze Orman’s next book.

After my informal education I was certainly more aware that bush hair removal on a massive scale was far more common than I ever thought. Regular gals are out there with landing strips or nothing at all and I suppose regular guys have come to expect it. To think my poor husband had to work around all that fluff for years.

But if you’re hoping for me to wrap this up with a Brazilian salon recommendation, you’re out of luck. I’m going to have to count myself as a moderate on this issue. I’ll go for an advanced bikini wax (a la landing strip), and I’ll even keep it nice and trim with a pair of safety scissors. But to whatever confused stray hairs made a right when they should have made a left and ended up doomed to a life next to my butt hole, I say live and let live.

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